Who Protects me from Protectron?

At 6  this morning my wife woke me up: “The alarm system is making noises!” Sure enough, the little display on the box indicated that the smoke alarm in the basement needed new batteries. No problem. For years we have been clients of Protectron, a country wide alarm monitoring service; they stay on guard for me! I could understand why they wouldn’t call me that early to change the batteries.

But by 9 o’clock I was ready. I placed the ladder under the faulty sensor and attempted to call the company that I was going to interfere with the security system (that’s what you are supposed to do!). I dialed and waited . . . Yes, I know, I am important to the company, they told me that at least 10 times until the system disconnected me with an unpleasant snarl. So I called again and waited . . .  This time I gave up after 15 minutes. OK, so it is their problem if my system triggers an alarm. I took down the sensor, installed the new batteries and put the sensor back in place. My alarm box was protesting vigorously stating “Fire Trouble”. It stands to reason that something equivalent was happening in Protectron’s central monitoring station. What did not happen, however, was a call from Protectron to inquire about this trouble. I must say though, a week earlier I had promptly received a notification from Protectron that they were going to raise my monitoring fee by 15% in order to further improve the quality of their service.

I am asking myself now, what am I actually getting for the money if the guards are asleep. And who is guarding the guards?

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